Awkward Episode Recap & Review 2.6: What Comes First Sex or Love?

Awkward has the difficult task of portraying life through the first person of a teenage girl. As is bound to happen with a protagonist such as this, sometimes the show finds itself being brought down by Jenna's teenage girl dilemma's, particularly this week when she is uncertain about what to do after Jake has told her he loves her, and she doesn't know how she feels.

It certainly doesn't help that those Jenna should turn to for help in figuring this out aren't the best people to receive advice from. Lacey's best friend Ali is back in town with a ring on her finger, and despite the fact Ali is one of the worst human beings ever who calls Jenna 'little bitch', Jenna, for some reason, decides that's a good place to start looking for friendly advice. Of course all she gets is that her new Uncle, named Dan, has enough money to get her breast implants. That's very helpful.

Meanwhile, Sadie continues her affair with Ricky Schwartz despite telling him that she doesn't do band geeks. He's infatuated with her, and she wants none of it but a little tonsil attention (maybe he now knows how Tamara feels?). As usual, she's hilarious at simultaneously berating him and wanting his attention at the same time.

Jenna's  friends aren't helpful either, basically telling her that if the feelings aren't there that she should break up with Jake. And again, why would Jenna listen to them? Tamara has an unhealthy obsession for a boy that constantly cheats on her, and Ming hasn't even been on a single date, yet somehow knows she's in love with Frank. Ah, teenage girls. Anyway, talking to Tamara makes Jenna realises she knew she loved Matty after they had sex (really Jenna? You think whether or not you love someone is dependent on sex?). And so starts Jenna's plan to have sex with Jake, but as with all things involving Jenna it goes horribly wrong and she announces her wishes to have sex over the school PA system.

So now not only is Tamara being labelled Tinkerbell in the school halls for peeing her pants on last weeks episode, but Jenna is now a slut that can't keep it in her pants. Both girls take it surprisingly well, and Tamara, as always, holds her own hilariously against the taunts. Matty jokingly offers Jenna some advice, and is surprisingly nice about it. No wonder Jenna is confused. Matty is a good guy. Anyway, she momentarily convinces herself that because Matty and her are friends her feelings for him are resolved (yes, I'm sure that's the end of that) so now all she has to worry about is Jake.

Jake is eager to have the sex (that's how kids speak, right?) but now Jenna's not so sure. She doesn't want sex to have a lasting affect on how she feels about him either way, and while her Mum's yoga class inspires Jake to take her home to do the deed, Ali seems to have inadvertently done a nice thing and convince Lacey and Val to stay home and drink instead. Luckily for Jake he leaves before things gets truly awkward. Val is a terrible drunk, and what is meant to be funny comes across as just plain disturbing. If that wasn't enough Sadie shows up to collect her soon-to-be aunt Ali (I didn't see that coming) and watches as Ali monologues about whether or not she can sleep with Dan for his money (of course she can) and Lacey burst into tears when the possibility of Kevin not returning home is discussed. This inspires Sadie to reconsider Ricky's advancements and I loved a chance to see a different side of Sadie this episode, struggling with the fact that someone actually like her for who she is is not something she is used to.

Later, Lacey apologises to Jenna in her room, and tells her what I sort of wish someone had told her at the beginning of the episode: that your first time with someone, whether or not you're in love, should be special. Apparently this is an invitation for Jenna who immediately calls Jake and says she'll bring the condoms. How considerate. They meet, and Jake has pimped out his Mum's minivan to make the occasion special, and knowing that Jake is after something special just as much as he is, Jenna pulls him into the van.

Rating: 2.5/5

True Blood Recap & Review 5.9: Everybody Wants To Rule The World

At the vampire Authority, the group watches the news which reports that the largest Tru Blood factory in the world has been destroyed. In celebration, they feast on a man tied to their table.
Molly tries to leave compound and finds that it is in lock down, meaning nobody is allowed to leave. Eric approaches her and asks her if there is any way that they can escape.

Sookie enlists Lafayette to help figure out who the vampire spirit Warlow is, and he ends up getting a message from Sookie's grandmother: that what she's looking for she's lying on top of. Sookie finds a box of Gran's old things under her bed and as her and Lafayette search through it she discovers from an old newspaper clipping that Sheriff Bud was the one who found her parents bodies. Sookie goes to Bud's house to see if he knows anything, and Sookie reads his mind and becomes aware he's hiding something. She questions him about Warlow and finds he doesn't know anything, and then large woman hits Sookie over the head with a frying pan and tells Bud to grab her body.

At the police station Jessica tells them that Hoyt is not apart of the supernatural hate group and that he tried to save her from them. She tells Jason that she's worried something has happened to him and he promises to find him for her. Deputy Kevin Ellis finds a website that Junior frequented called 'Keep America Human', on which are videos of the hate group in their Obama masks tying vampires to posts in daylight. On the video they chant long live the Dragon and Andy is reminded of Cleetus Boathouse, a former Klansman who died 20 years ago, who went by that name. Andy and Jason wonder who the new Dragon might be.

Terry leaves home and tells Arlene that he is going to find Patrick. Arlene begs him not to go for her sake and their children, but he tells her that they have to have a fair fight, and that they're the only reason he's fighting.

At Fangtasia Tara walks into Pam's office with four boxes of Tru Blood. Pam asks her what she is doing and Tara says that they have to start reserving their stock now that the Tru Blood factories have been destroyed. Pam tells her that they will keep selling to stop their vampire customer feeding off of their human customers and puting them out of business. She says that when they run out and they'll just have to pretend they're still drinking it to keep up appearances.

Eric confronts Bill and tells him his Pro-Lilith facade isn't going to fool Salome much longer. Bill informs him it's not an act, and that he believes in Lilith, but Eric reminds him that he is a true mainstreamer, and that his relationship with Sookie is proof of that. Eric tells him that they need to escape the next day by procuring Salmoe's blood to open the security doors.

Andy addresses the press about the hate group but can't reveal too much about the investigation. As he concludes his statement Sam and Luna arrive at the station and tell Andy they went back to the basement and got the scent of pigs. While Andy appreciates their help he tells them they're in danger and that they should go home and let him do his job. Irritated, Sam and Luna turn themselves into flies so that they can wait in the station overhear any developments about the case. Later, Andy notices one of the member in the hate group video is wearing the cowboy boots Bud was given at his retirement party, and they believe Bud is the dragon. Jason and Andy break into Bud's place and Jason remembers that Bud's wife's family owned a pig farm.

As Alcide drives he has a flashback to being a teenager. He's being taught by his father what it means to be a werewolf and the importance of being in a pack. A group of young wolves, including Alcide are given the option of choosing their human or wolf side as they go forward in life, and they all choose pack. In the present we see Alcide is driving to Jackson.

Arlene opens up Merlotte's and is confronted by Patrick who holds her at gunpoint. He tells her to ring all the employees and tell them that they are closed, and that he won't kill her if she does what he says. Terry arrives at Merlotte's and finds Patrick sitting in a booth with his gun at Arlene's head. Terry wants the fair fight, but Patrick says he's wife's pregnant and that he has to kill Terry for his family. Terry gets down on his knees and puts his hands behind his head so that he doesn't hurt Arlene. Patrick pushes her away and is about to shoot Terry when Arlene stabs him in the neck with a hairpin. The two men scuffle, and Patrick gains the upper hand, but Arlene retrieves the gun and points it at Patrick's head.

While in bed together, Salome tells Bill that they are chosen to bring about a new world. Bill asks her what if he didn't want to be chose, and she tells him that SOMETHING. They begin having sex and Bill sees her as Sookie and bites her until she dies. He then sees her as Lilith, before he again sees her as Salome. He has bitten her and has her blood in his mouth.

Sookie awakens tied up in a pigpen, and she sees Hoyt lying in the one across from her. Bud and the other members of the hate group confront Sookie, and he tells her that when he was Sheriff there were hundreds of unclosed cases due to supernatural beings and that something has to be done about them. The large woman that hit Sookie, Sweetie, boasts that they are doing what is right and are taking back America from the supernatural beings, and reveals herself as the Dragon. They then force Sookie to drink some ginger ale laced with oxycontin, planning to let her and Hoyt be eaten by the pigs. Before they can put Sookie into the pen with them though, Sam, who had shifted into a pig, shifts back and takes on the hate group. Sweetie runs away, and Andy and Jason arrive. Andy pulls his gun on Bud, and when Bud makes a move at Sam with his shovel Andy shoots him in the chest. Luna chases down Sweetie and beats her. After Hoyt is taken to hospital and all the group members are arrested, Sam and Luna decide to go get Emma.

Terry has his gun pointed out Patrick, and Arlene tells him he has to kill Patrick for their family. Patrick tells Terry that the reason they're in this situation is because Terry blindly followed orders, and that he needs to do what is right. The Iraqi woman appears telling him the same thing, and he shoots Patrick. The Irqai woman says that blood has been paid with blood, and summons the Irift which appears and takes Patrick's body.

Russell decides to show Steve his wolf pack. Russell tells him of their undying loyalty as pets, and Steve laments he never had a pet. They walk into a barn and Russell congratulates JD on becoming pack master. He then proceeds to bite his own wrist and the wolves flock to him for a drop of his blood. He notices Martha there, who is holding Emma. When Martha says she'll never drink from Russell, he grabs Emma and gives her to Newlin as his first pet.

In Jackson, Alcide arrives at his father's trailer. His father is watching a horse race and Alcide asks him how much money he put on the race. When he says he's entire pension check, Alcide scolds him, but then reveals that that is not why he is there. He tells his father that he lost pack master and has been abjured. He is now a lone wolf just like his father.

At Fangtasia, Pam sees a vampire sitting on Eric's throne while feeding on a human. She confronts him and tells him that it's prohibited to feed on humans in the bar, and that only the sheriff can sit on the throne. He replies that the Vampire Authority has lifted the ban on public feeding, and that Eric is finished, and that he is the new sheriff of Area 5. He throws Pam across the room, and Tara runs to help her. The vampire tells all the other vampires in the bar to drink from the humans.

Back at home, Sookie is visited by the faeries who tell her vampires are responsible for the Tru Blood factory explosions and that they want to take over the world.

Eric tells Nora that he wants to believe in Lilith but has difficulty doing so, and Eric asks her if she will help him. He takes her to the main foyer, and Molly arrives. The pair drug and Nora and are about to escape, but Eric wants to wait for Bill. He arrives and Molly proceeds to open the security doors, but Bill has betrayed them and Salome is standing in the elevator with several guards who handcuff Eric and Molly. Eric is seething, and Bill tells him he has been chosen by Lilith.

Rating: 3/5

Breaking Bad Recap & Review 5.4: Fifty-One

Life's good for Walter White. So much so that he treats himself and his son, Walter Jr., to brand new cars on the eve of his 51st birthday. Oh, if it wasn't for his pesky wife. Skyler realises that she's stuck in this awful situation with Walt, but now she's worked up the courage to tell Walt she doesn't want her children in the same environment. Being the man he is, Walt ensures Skyler his they're safe from danger, but as Skyler cleverly recalls, isn't Walt the danger?

Let's just say I think Skyler has been taking lessons from Walt in trying to get what she wants, and she decides to pull a cool pool party trick at Walt's birthday, that involves walking into the pool fully clothed and remaining underwater until your husband has to jump into the pool to stop you from drowning. Hank and Marie are understandably concerned, and while they don't think Skyler was actually trying to kill herself, they agree that she wanted there attention and that she needs help. Marie suggests taking Walter Jr. and Holly for a while so that Walt and Skyler can have their space, and Marie tells Walt it was Skyler's idea.

So Skyler's plan works, but Walt's certainly not happy about it. Skyler wants her children safe and away from Walt, but he wants his family, after all, hasn't everything he done been for that? So there's no way he's going to let Skyler keep them away. He asks her what her next move is, she says she'll hurt herself, he's says he'll get her committed, she's says she tell everyone he beats her because of her affair. Being the chess master that he is he knows Skyler has no more moves, bringing Ted into the game would lead to a police investigation, and neither of them want that. Skyler admits she's powerless against him, and I must say I love her all the more for it. She tells him she'll just bide her time until his cancer returns. So while Skyler plays the waiting game, it'll be interesting to see what move Walt will make against her next.

At the Houston office of Madrigal Electromotive Lydia  receives a tip-off call from Mike and seconds later the DEA arrive to question. She leads them to Ron Forenall who is arrested. Lydia calls Mike to tell him that the methylamine transport will be cut off due to Ron's arrest. Mike informs he'll send someone else, Jesse. Later he arrives to retrieve a barrel of methylamine from a hesitant Lydia. While lowering the barrel Lydia finds a GPS device attached to the barrel. Mike calls Walt in and Jesse tells Mike about the GPS device. Mike believes it was Lydia, attempting to get out of their business and prepares to leave to kill her but Jesse stops him and makes a vote of it. Walt tells them that the cooks must not stop under any circumstances.

After the meeting, Jesse gives Walt a nice looking watch as a birthday present, what a nice guy, and the receipt too, what an even nicer guy. Walt returns home and shows it to Skyler, telling her that Jesse wanted to kill him recently, but that now he's buying him watches. Walt tells Skyler he changed his mind about him, and that she will too. And as with all things Walt says now, what is meant as a reassurance has a threat cleverly disguised underneath.

Rating: 3.5/5

Damages Recap & Review 5.4: I Love You, Mommy

Having dinner at a restaurant with an old friend, Roger Kastle, Patty is offered a job in the supreme court, but she says she'll have to wait until McClaren case is over. He invites her to a weekend away with him at his holiday house, and she's laughs hysterically in response.

On their way to work, Ellen's mother Denise finally reveals why she has moved in with her: her husband Gary is starting to scare her. Parson family drama is so boring, and having Ellen and Denise both be so stubborn as to not address the problem for an entire episode seems pointless and unnecessary.

It was only a matter of time until we witnessed a hacking scene from McClaren, and we got one as he attempted to hack into Samurai Seven's computer to obtain the information he has on Princefield. Let the hack war begin! Despite McClaren music pumping in the background, the scene wasn't all that exciting, and just as McClaren thought he had the information, Samurai fought him off.

At Hewes and Associates Bill questions Jake Stahl, an attorney interested in cyber law. Bill is unimpressed by his qualifications, but Jake reveals that Patty has already hired him. She needs him to get access to Princefield's servers to find out whether or not they have been tampered with to figure not whether or not it was actually Noami Walling responsible for the leak.

Patty goes to the SEC to gain access to the servers and she is turned away, so she goes on the attack and decides to take the case public. On 'The Last Word With Lawrence O’Donnell' on MSNBC, Patty tells the world that McClaren sexually assaulted Naomi Walling.

Ellen organises a hearing with Judge Gearheart to discuss Patty's accusations, and he issues a gag order on the case from both of them. Ellen is irritated that now she can no longer respond to Patty's allegations about McClaren, and tells Gearheart that the gag order was exactly what Patty wanted, but he ignores her.

Rutger and Gitta attempt to go behind McClaren's back to pay for the information on Princefield from Samurai Seven, but he wants $500,000 and McClaren's only financier refuses to pay. Rutger then turns to Ellen, and after a warning from her accountant, Ellen agrees to give them the money.

At a cafe, Michael (where the hell has he been?) is being interviewed and is short of horrible things to say about his mother, including that the McClaren case is all about her crushing Ellen.

After many hilarious misinterpretations of Katherine and the man with the sword who lives in the garbage can, Patty finds Samurai's message on her computer. With Jake's help, she too, agrees to pay Samurai $500,000 for the Princefield information.

Patty gets a call from Roger, who tells her to turn to page 38 of the latest issue of American Lawyer. There Patty sees Michael's interview about her. She tells Roger she is not concerned, and he tells her that she made a career going after bullies, but that if she's only on the McClaren case to best Ellen that she better be careful or it could blow up in her face.

At Ellen's office, Ellen shares a drink with Michael telling him that his interview will get people to question Patty's standing in the legal community. Michael tells her he needs to know that his custody case in going to move forward. Ellen says she will give him her testimony, but that he just has to be patient, to which he replies he's not going to wait forever.

Patty and Jake meet with Samurai and once they've transferred him the $500,000 he gives them a USB containing the Princefield information. They leave, and Samurai remains there waiting for Ellen's arrival. Ellen and Gitta arrive and again they transfer him $500,000, but before he can get out of his car to give them the USB, he is attacked, and someone drives off in his car. The man later ditches the car and set's it alight, after retrieving the USB.

Rating: 3/5