The Cabin In The Woods Review

Five college students drive out for a vacation to a remote cabin in the woods, while unbeknownst to them, elsewhere in a sophisticated industrial facility, technicians keep an eye on the students with hidden cameras. Through the cabin's design, the use of sophisticated environmental controls and the release of mood-altering drugs into the air, the technicians manipulate the environment into one resembling a fairly common horror archetype.

The film is extremely self-reflexive, exploring and deconstructing the typical horror film by having the plot of the film itself, the college students travelling to a cabin in the woods, being a construction outside of their control. It also poses interesting questions on why audiences are so desensitised to the sex, blood and gore that is now so often seen in the cinemas. It's not all horror though, and comedy is brilliantly intertwined with all the heavy material, often from the nonchalant way in which several characters react to the horrible incidents that occur throughout the film.

Drew Goodard and Joss Whedon fans will appreciate many of the casting choices made in the film, as will as most horror genre fans when a famous face is introduced towards the end of the film. That being said most the college student’s characters are forgettable except for the innocent Dana (Kristen Connolly) and stoner Marty (Fran Kranz), but then again, maybe that's the point. Richard (Richard Jenkins) and Steve (Bradley Whitford), however, are the standouts of the film as the two technicians orchestrating most of the events occurring.

The major problem with the film is the viewers ability to maintain suspension of disbelief. Whether or not you like the film really depends on if you can handle a world that so off-handily introduces redneck torture zombies and ancient gods as almost common sense within the films reality. Furthermore, in parodying  the genre of itself, naturally every horror movie trope is used, and while some are done for laughs others, as the film highlights, have been done many times before and therefore the film doesn't really stand out all that much in the horror department.

Once the film decides to leave the cabin behind so to speak, it becomes extremely entertaining and something quite different, and while those who have difficulty with suspending their disbelief at the films ending, the build-up manages to be fast-paced, funny, and poignant all at once. It's the films strong mixture of laughs, mostly satire related, and unexpected twists in an otherwise by-the-numbers horror film that puts this slightly above the rest.

Rating: 3.5/5

Why is The CW failing?

I stumbled across a thread titled this a couple of days ago on a television website I often frequent. It was discussing how The CW, one of the five commercial American television networks, has the worst ratings out of those five networks. Interestingly enough, this topic was started back in 2008, and The CW doesn't seem at all to be in a better position in the ratings than it was back then, but then again, it hasn't crashed and burned either.

Everyone has an opinion as to why The CW is having difficulties and before I add mine I thought I should say that I'm 21 years old, and male. While I live in Australia, if I lived in America, I've no doubt The CW would be the channel I watched the most. I watch Supernatural, The Vampire Diaries and Nikita, and until they were cancelled I watched The Secret Circle and Ringer, too. Hell, if I lived in America and watched The CW enough they could probably even convince to me watch shows like The L.A. Complex, and I would have checked out Melrose Place too.

Anyway, enough about my bad taste in television. I would say the demographic is the major problem, as many others have said. According to Wikipedia it's '18-35 year olds'. It doesn't specify gender, but women are the obvious answer. So how to get young women to watch The CW? Well they've got the programming down pat in my opinion. Personally, I think the problem is that young people just don't watch as much TV as they used to, and if they do, they're on their computer while watching the television, or god forbid, watching television on the computer. So the idea would be more online interactive content. Facebook, Twitter, games, competitions etc. Honestly I don't really know because I'm old fashioned and I'm scared of computers and change, so anyone else have any ideas?

A lot of people have said that that The CW doesn't promote its older and more established shows in comparison to its advertising and support for its newer ones. As I don't live in America, I can't comment, but even if they do this, it wouldn't really surprise me. As they are focused on such a young demographic if a show ends up going for longer than three years, chances are, viewers that were interested in the show at the beginning of the series may have grown-up and moved on, lost interest, or just no longer find the time for television. This is why I could understand The CW being hesitant in promoting its older shows. Why advertise a show past its prime that's constantly losing viewers (or at least it is in their eyes) when you can heavily advertise a new show that will encapsulate the hearts of new young television viewers? In this scenario, as much as it pains me, I understand why they might have cancelled shows like Veronica Mars.

The CW is a result of a merger that occured between the WB and UPN networks in the fall of 2006, one of the primary reasons for that merger supposedly being that neither network could get as high ratings as the other netowrks because they were vying for the same audience and therefore cancelled each other out of the competition. While in theory merging the two networks into The CW solves that problem, in today's TV market The CW is most definitely not the only channel of its kind. ABC Family has shows like The Secret Life of The American Teenager, Pretty Little Liars & The Lying Game, all of which I could see on The CW (as well as previous shows like 10 Things I Hate About You, Greek, Kyle XY & The Nine Lives of Chloe King). And at the moment MTV seem to have started to fast develop a similar sort of demographic with shows like Teen Wolf and Awkward (previously The Hard Time of RJ Berger).

Maybe in an attempt to extend their demographic The CW could take a leaf out of MTV's book, and produce more mature or possibly even risqué, programming content if it would get them more viewers. Nikita and Supernatural would have to be the two shows currently on the network that could break into other demographics, and Ringer could be seen as off brand too, but The CW hasn't tried all that hard to branch out as yet. Possibly there safest bet to do this would be to have shows that mothers and daughters could watch together, in the vein of Gilmore Girls, in an attempt to spread their age bracket a bit higher (just forget trying to get males in at this stage, they've got enough problems as is). Unfortunately I can't see any of The CW's fall or mid-season shows making more mature aged content, although Cult looks very promising.

Another suggestion would be to bring back comedies! I couldn't believe from doing research on this piece  that Dawn Ostroff, The CW's former President, 'publicly declared the difficulty of doing comedies for their target demographic'. What??? Everyone loves a comedy. Yes, a lot of sitcoms nowadays are hit and miss, but I could see something like What I Like About You (an old example, I know) doing really well on the network. Plus, sitcoms are something families can watch.

I was interested to see that The Bill Cunningham Show is going to The CW. While I have never seen or heard of the show before I think this is a very good move if The CW do it right. The network needs something, not necessarily national news or sports programming, but something else that's factual/ informative/ topical that their younger viewers can enjoy, while gaining older viewers, as this is the sort of stuff everyone can watch (and does). I was going to suggest a couple of shows, or variances of, that we have here in Australia that might work. There's one called The Project which is basically a news/ current affairs program, but it's hosted by a panel of comedians/ journalists and they often have celebrity guests. They present a really laid-back approach to the news that's easily accessible to all ages. There's also shows like The Gruen Transfer and Hungry Beast (which analyse commercials/ media and its effects on audiences) and The Chaser's War on Everything (which is a satire of news and politics. Much like Stephen Colbert I'd imagine). It looks like with Bill Cunningham The CW are testing the waters, so I hope it works out for them, otherwise they could try and go for something less serious in a talk show like Rove or Chelsea Lately.

Also, why does The CW not have programming on Sunday's? This seems like a majorly wasted opportunity. I'm not exactly sure how it works over there, but do they have any programming at all on Sundays? Or just nothing original? And if they have nothing original on, well why the hell not???

So do you watch The CW? Why/ why not? And what do you think the network needs to do to achieve better ratings?

True Blood Recap & Review (5.3: Whatever I Am, You Made Me)

I've always wanted to watch a major character on a television series go through the transformation of human to vampire, and now I get to do so with Tara, but are there senses really that good that they can see every star in the sky? Anyway what was more important was that Tara has become the thing she hates most, and has no idea what to do. She's turns to Sam, and for this episode at least, he's given the exciting storyline of harbouring a seriously confused vampire Tara from Sookie and Lafayette who are desperately looking for her. I love that when he discovered what Sookie had done that he understood, and didn't judge. I also like that Tara's relationships with Sookie and Lafayette seem to have been seriously hindered by her transition, I mean, she practically told Alcide what Sookie did. Despite all this interesting stuff though, Tara doesn't seem to be having a good time (Rutina Wesley seems to have an awfully difficult time adjusting to talking with her fangs out) and decides to try and suicide by solarium, which of course Pam will save her from.

Bill and Eric's own little plea to save themselves from The Authority by killing Russell needs to be thoroughly discussed apparently, and Roman is so uncertain they can keep Russell at bay that he calls upon Steve Newlin who, should he need it, will go on television and sell the mainstreaming initiative to humanity. To make sure Bill and Eric are both good little boys while they're out hunting Russell, they have iStakes attached to them. Ah, technology. And apparently a part of their psych evaluations involves Salome sleeping with them both, and afterwards tells Roman that neither of them are Sanguinistas, and that they can trust them both. He is unconvinced however, considering Nora, someone they all trusted, revealed under torture that she was a member of the Sanguinista movement.

Andy might have to be a bit more careful about who he trusts as well, considering his 'sleepover' with Holly has resulted in a naked picture of him ending up of Facebook. But for once on True Blood, the sexual antics of Bon Temps citizens must be put to the side because Debbie Pelt is missing, and her very concerned parents have come looking for her. Andy goes to Merlotte's and heavily questions Sookie, which I loved, and it seems that her and Lafayette are in way over their heads. I've never really understood all the Lafayette love until now, the way in which Nelsan Ellis portrays him when he's nervous or scared is absolutely hilarious, yet believable, and he was right of the mark as he eavesdropped on Sookie's interrogation. Anna Paquin, too, is finally getting to strecth her acting skills with this storyline.

Jason momentarily reverts to his playboy self when he bumps into his old high school teacher, Miss Steeler, at the grocery store. The pair is revealed to have had an affair when Jason was in high school, she supposedly having taught Jason everything he knows about sex and prematurely starting Jason's sex life. They return to her house and she apologises for their previous relationship. He tells her not to worry about it and they have sex, but once they're finished Jason has an epiphany and realises that they're relationship was wrong. Later, after smelling a very attractive man at the clothes store, Jessica arrives at Jason's and tries to have sex with him. Jason tells her that he's not a piece of meat and refuses to try and fill the void in his heart with sex anymore. He says he cannot be friends with girls because he immediately thinks of having sex with them. He wants Jessica to leave, but she doesn't. She demands they will talk about what happened to him, and assures him that they can be friends.

Missing Eric, and possibly sentimental about becoming Tara's maker, Pam continues to have flashbacks to when she first met Eric. At her brothel Eric expresses his interest in her, and while initially she refuses, Eric tells her everyone has a price. Remembering one of her slaughtered working girls, she gets Eric to stop the vampires that are killing the women that are working for her, which turn out to be, Lorena and a newly turned Bill. After threatening them and spending them away, Eric and Pam have sex. Afterwards Pam asks Eric to turn her into a vampire, which he refuses. Pam then intentionally cuts both of her forearms and starts bleeding profusely.

This episode of True Blood greatly benefited from focusing of only a few key storylines, and having them cleverly linked together with several characters, rather than just having each character have their own annoying storyline. Terry's fire problems, and Alcide and Sam's wold troubles were gratefully put to the side for the time being, allowing the development of Tara's transformation and the beginning of the ramifications Debbie's murder will have. It was also great to have several of the characters interacting all together again and having Sookie back working at Merlotte's made me wish for the old days when True Blood was a lot more simpler and self-contained. While not a lot happened in terms of the progression of the storylines, by trimming away some of the excess characters this episode reminded me just how much of a good guilty pleasure show it can be.

Rating: 4/5

Friends With Kids Review

Jason (Adam Scott) and Julie (Jennifer Westfeldt) are two best friends in their 30s who live in the same building in Manhattan. After watching their close friends, Ben (Jon Hamm) and Missy (Kristin Wigg), and Alex (Chris O'Dowd) and Leslie (Maya Rudolph), settle down and have kicks, the pair complain to one another that their friends have become horrible people and seem to now have horrible lives. They both want to have children desperately, Julie is getting old, and Jason has commitment issues, but don't want to have to go through the trouble of finding 'The One' and getting married to do so. With this they decide that they'll have a child together, and mutually share the responsibility.

The movie starts off well, it doesn't try too hard for the laughs, and the comedy seems natural. The couple and their friends are just a normal bunch of adults (if a little on the immature side) who are having fun. It's only after Jason and Julie hilariously go forward with their plan, much to the concern of their friends, and have the baby, when the novelty of the idea starts to wear off. After the birth of their child, Joe, Friends With Kids falls victim to the limits of the romantic comedy genre. Naturally, things don't stay platonic and Julie grows affections for Jason, but of course Jason now thinks he has found 'The-One' in Mary Jane (Megan Fox). And thus begins the prolonged journey of will they won't they, with both Jason and Julie dating other people, repressing their feelings for each other, and making plenty of mistakes before the inevitable end.

While the overall format of the film may hinder the story, that's not to say there weren't any entertaining parts. There are plenty of one-liners, Jason and Julie's 'friendship' is genuinely enjoyable to watch, and there are a couple of diner scenes that are quite memorable. What makes Friends With Kids stand out among other romantic comedies though is its ability to not shy away from thought provoking subject matter in between the laughs. It raises questions about what it means to be in a marriage, a parent, and how both of these institutions mean very different things nowadays compared to what they used to. There are some scenes in fact, in which it could be mistaken for a dark drama, particularly where the macabre characters of Ben and Missy are involved. Although this is refreshing to see in a romantic comedy, it's a difficult aspect to balance into the film, and there are some moments that are just too depressing to belong in a film of this type.
The film however does try it's hardest to do something innovative, and it must be commended as a very progressive and new age romantic comedy if nothing else.

Rating: 3/5

Prometheus Reveiw

On Earth in 2089, archaeologists Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace) and Charlie Holloway (Logan Marshall-Green) discover a star map among several unconnected ancient cultures. They interpret this as an invitation from humanity’s forerunners, or "Engineers". Peter Weyland, the elderly CEO of Weyland Corporation, funds the creation of the scientific vessel Prometheus to follow the map to the distant moon LV-223, in an attempt to find the Engineers.

The film has a long-winded setup explaining all this, but once arriving on the foreign planet, intrigue, great visuals, and plenty of science-fiction/ horror tropes occur to keep the plot interesting. Noomi Rapace handles herself as the female heroine, particularly in the heavy actions scenes, but unfortunately something about her demeanour is slightly off-putting. Logan Marshall-Green had potential, but the way in which his character was written didn't allow for anything spectacular had he was underused. Charlize Theron is excellent as Meredith Vickers, the Weyland Industries representative with a steely-resolve, but Michael Fassbender steals the show as the creepy android David.

The films' major flaw is its ability to maintain the audiences suspension of disbelief. The inclusion of film's time-period, 2093, draws instant speculations, because of the advancement of Prometheus as a man made spaceship that can travel to a moon in a distant galaxy. Because no further information is given about the world in which Prometheus exists, questions immediately are raised that are never given answers. Is this the first time humans have travelled into space? How does a private company like Weyland Industries get a trillion dollars to send a spaceship to a distant moon? How come this particular, somewhat flawed, crew get specifically chosen for the mission? None of these questions need to be necessarily answered to improve the film, but that being said, in terms of plot, the set up is rather long, and these questions continue to nag until the action begins with the discovery of an alien corpse on LV-223.

The film also tries too hard to spend time on trying to make itself a philosophical inspiring journey by raising questions of faith and the creation of human beings. While many discussions of this kind occur within the film, none are very entertaining, and only Michael's Fassbander David provides some really thought provoking dialogue. Otherwise, these conversations often seem filler. Something for the characters to do while their not running through the dark dank caverns on LV-223 or investigating the alien species.

Furthermore, there are a lot of revelatory moments that occur on LV-223 yet strangely only one or two characters are ever present for them, and oddly enough the film rarely shows where or when the other characters find out about what has happened or what is going on on the ship, or more importantly, how they react. The film progresses as if everyone knows and is aware of what is going on, when as audiences, we have seen that they do not. This also ensures that character wise, having a crew of seventeen members was completely unnecessary, when not even main ones were entirely well-rounded and three dimensional characters. Yes, the others were used as they should have been, as alien fodder, but not even any of there deaths were particularly entertaining.

These concerns become irrelevant however once Prometheus plot gets into full swing, and while some of things that occur aren't all that innovative, there's a lot of them and there entertaining. As the film builds towards the end Alien fans will think they know how everything goes, but the last twenty minutes are an unexpected and fitting pay off for the rest of the film.

Rating: 4/5

True Blood Recap & Review (5.2: Authority Always Wins)

Oh Sookie! Just what have you got yourself into this time turning your best friend into a vampire? A very hungry and violent Tara tried to take a bite out of Sookie and Lafayette, and all Pam could do to help as her maker was command Tara not to eat either of them, or leave Sookie's house. Cue destruction of Sookie's house! Sookie and Lafayette were both good this episode, Sookie, showing what must be her only admirable quality with compassion and understanding towards Tara, and Lafayette, who was acting all scared and torn over bringing Tara back. Tara herself was a little underwhelming, and for the most part you couldn't tell whether she was actually a retarded vampire, or whether she was just having a little difficulty after her transition. In the end it turned out to be more the later, her telling Sookie and Lafayette that she'll never forgive them before running off. And she's back, and I hate her already.

Too bad Pam couldn't stick around and act all authoritative and sarcastic towards her, but she had to return to Fangtasia where she could have some completely unimportant and uninteresting flashbacks to when she and Eric first met.

Terry started his compulsory war flashbacks this episode too, and they were so brief and full of fiery imagery and Patrick, that it made me care even less about what happened. Arlene was though, considering Terry's crazy upped the anti a bit and he started standing over her in the middle of the night and pushing her across Merlotte's kitchen. She goes to Patrick and tells him to fix it (oh I wish it was the easy Arlene), and Terry reveals to Patrick that one of their old war buddy's is in fact alive. Patrick thinks he's responsible, and if this storyline couldn't be annoying enough in Bon Temps, it looks like we're going to get a road trip.

After an unsuccessful road trip of their own, Bill and Eric find themselves at the hands of the infamous Authority. Their hideout looked pretty cool, but their torture methods were outdated and predictable. Plus, they have this super weird religious vibe about them (haven't we done this already?) and they all seem more of a bunch of characters interested in playing bible study and politics to actually do anything. Which is why Bill suggests, predictably, that he and Eric go hunt down Russell as to not have him spoil the Authority's plans.

Alcide has plans of his own, and they don't involve eating dead wolf pack master Marcus or having anything to do with the pack. Just when we think all is done with the werewolves, (wasn't season three the season of the wolf?) Marcus's mother comes to talk to her granddaughter Emma and try and convince Luna to let her have the pack in her life. Luna refuses, and for some ridiculously stupid reason, Sam thinks it might be a good idea for Luna. Much more understandably, Luna kicks Sam's stupid ass out.

Jessica does the same when Steve Newlin comes a knocking trying to buy Jason's love from her, which she naturally refuses. She's still partying it up in Bill's house, but Steve's taunt that Bill's no longer the King might put a serious damper on her new lifestyle, god forbid she tries to be mature for once.

Maybe she should take a leaf out of Jason's book, who's no longer sleeping around and is trying to repent for his past indiscretions, but is actually doing some good police work too. Him and Andy find Debbie's car, and I get all excited that a good storyline might be starting and that a characters actions in True Blood will actually have consequences for once. But that's all put to the side for another episode, as Jason must continue to pay for his past mistakes when some kid comes to the police station and punches him in teh face for having sex with his Mum, and then again when he tries to apologise to Hoyt and is rejected.

This episode was a slow one, but the set up allows for a lot of promising storylines, here's hoping there's more action from now on and that the pay-offs are good ones.

Rating: 3/5

Which TV character do you think you are? (Regrettably or Otherwise)

So the other day a friend of mine said something to me that really got me thinking about what television characters I have an affinity with. And not in a good way, unfortunately. Much to my dismay, my friend called me 'The Quagmire' of our group. For those unaware, Glenn Quagmire is a character from the animated sitcom Family Guy, who is known for his general creepy and sexually deviant behaviour. Well let's just say if someone compares you to a character like that it definitely gets you thinking about your personality.

In my honest opinion, if I were to be anyone from Family Guy, I'd see myself more as a Brian Griffin. I'm a struggling writer, enjoy a bit of a drink, enjoy being contrarian, and consider myself more cultured than most of my family members and friends. Obviously with those traits comes a fair bit of pretentiousness, and I'd be the first to admit I'm often sarcastic and a hypocrite towards others.

Thinking back to shows I watched when I was younger one character I especially remember relating to, and therefore sharing an affinity with, was Malcolm in the Middle's titular character Malcolm Wilkerson. Being considered smart, Malcolm is placed in a special class, which he has difficulty fitting in with and therefore is trapped in between the geniuses and the normal people, but is unable to fit into either group. His dysfunctional family are a constant hassle and embarrassment for him to deal with, and also prolong his doubts about not fitting in, as does his own ego. There are not too many redeeming character qualities here, if any at all, but regardless, Malcolm was a relatable character for young men, because he was realistic. What 12 year-old boy doesn't put himself first, blame all his problems on his family, knows the pain of being bullied, yet bullies himself, all the while longing to just fit in? Why yes, Malcolm, life is unfair.

Nowadays, I have grown into an artsy and socially awkward adult (with my 12 year-old maturity still in tact, thank God) and find that one of the main shows in which I relate to several of its characters is 30 Rock.  I think majority of the writers of TGS could apply to my personality including Liz Lemon, Pete Hornberger, and J.D. Lutz. All of them, a part from being writers, are socially awkward, generally insecure, hold strong concerns about how they are perceived by others (yet refuse to put too much effort into their appearance), are popular-culture nerds, and have issues with food. They are all very career driven, although this is because they are lonely not because they love their work, they set impossibly high standards for themselves and are desperate to please everyone, often leading them to be pushed around by others and let down. Honestly people, all this is why writers have such good material for their work.

Heading into darker territory, and exploring an interesting and exciting  development in television over recent years, is the affinity I share with Miami Metro's number-one serial killer, Dexter Morgan. Now I know I really shouldn't be telling people all the things I have in common with a mass murderer, but I'm obviously not the only one who shares my high opinion of the anti-hero, otherwise no one would watch Dexter. Killing very far aside, what makes him relatable is that Dexter feels he doesn’t belong in the world and can never be accepted for who he is and he finds it difficult to interact with other individuals and is often naive of social etiquette. For him, being normal and acting just like everyone else is an extremely difficult task, one he must constantly perform. As such, he feels disconnected from the world. We all have a 'Dark Passenger' of our own, and it's interesting to see that audiences are becoming more inclined to watch shows with flawed characters.

Who knows whether it's a trend that will continue, but it wouldn't be at all surprising if it does. After all, one of the most important parts of a successful television show are likable characters, and the best way for writers to do that is to make the audience relate to them on a personal level. In most television shows, but particularly sitcoms, main characters have a tendency to demonstrate similar primary character traits (sometimes to the point of stereotypes), which is why it's no surprise people often see themselves in characters. For example, as the socially awkward geek I described above, characters like Ross Geller (Friends), Seth Cohen (The O.C.), Eric Forman (That 70's Show) and Arnold Rimmer (Red Dwarf), are the ones I find most relatable, because they all share common characteristics and play a certain role show in their respective show, in this case, at it's very basic level, 'The Nerd'.

So, believe me, if someone ever compares you to a television character, or you yourself find you have an uncanny resemblance to one, don't say blurgh like my television alter-ego Liz Lemon would, but rather be aware the characters are written so that audiences relate to them and that it's nothing to be ashamed of, it's just the magic of television at work.

So I told you mine, will you tell me yours? What television characters are you most like? Are you a typical nerd, or can you easily be placed in another stereotypical group? I mean, come on, I had a dog and a serial killer in my list, yours is definitely not going to be as bad as mine, and I would love you to share.

True Blood 5.1: Turn, Turn, Turn Episode Recap & Review

Oh my god, Pam, what have you done? What a bizarre thing for the writers to do, have a fan favourite character save the life of a universally dispised one. Oh well, it made for good television. Pam was hilariously sarcastic as usual, and I'm glad now that her relationship with Eric is tense that she'll be able to act the smart-ass towards a whole lot of other characters. Lafayette was all maniac depressive, so much so that he cut off all of his hair! Now that there won't be a new do to check out every week what's the point in watching? And someone needs to make a gif of him doing the googly-eyed stare down at Alcide, stat. The most surprising of all though was Sookie... acting like a heroine! I never thought I'd see the day, but there she was cutting up bodies and telling Lafayette how she killed Debbie because she could. Sookie's becoming one tough cookie, and I hope the writers continue to develop her darker side. Speaking of darker sides, just when we all though missing one side of your skull was a mortal wound, there's Tara, vamping it up, and looking at Sookie for her first meal. Looks like these characters will be having an entertaining season. Although I've always hated Tara, hopefully her transition into vampire will invigorate her character. And Sookie and Lafayette, not only will they have to deal with their undead friend, but are going to have a hard time explaining the disappearance of the dead Debbie and Jesus. Covering up murders is always fun.

Meanwhile, Bill and Eric tried to cover their own trails after killing Nan and several Authority guards, but they didn't last very long at all. Since when have the Authority been so quick response wise? I thought it was all political discussions and power struggles from what we've seen/ heard so far on True Blood, but hey it looks like they are actually doing something now. Not that they're doing it well. Eric's 'sister' Nora, a high ranking member of the Authority, is secretly a a part of a group who disagrees with the way things are being run and helps them to escape. She tells them she's willing to help them, but that they must leave their old lives behind, or they'll all experience the true death. Oh Nora, this isn't going to end well for you. She also has sex with Eric. Just as things look like their going well for the mismatched vampires the Authority strikes again. Bets on how long until they escape this time? While I detest the not funny banter Bill and Eric share, their storyline this season holds the most promise: The Authority, Russell's return etc.

Everything else on this season of True Blood however, looks a bit glum. Steve Newlin is not only a vampire now but is gay. Haven't we been here before? He also wants Jason bad, but Jessica stops him. In that sexy little red riding hood lingerie that worked so well in the season four final. They have sex, but no, this does not mean they're back together. Because Jessica has to be the rebellious teen and invite a whole bunch generic college douchebags and sluts over to her Dad's expensive mansion while he's away. And play singstar. One of them suggests Jessica goes to college (I smell a spin-off!). A love sick Jason crashes the party and is crushed when Jessica starts getting cosy with one of the douches. As every normal man would do, he picks up a drunk hot chick to ease his pain... a part from Jason doesn't because he's growing as a character or something. Good on him, but I still don't care. He's dumb, and always painful to watch, whether he's a nice guy or a womaniser. Besides, one could see why he's trying to do the right thing, when his best buddy Hoyt hates him ever so much for sleeping with Jessica. Him and all of his friends, who no one has ever seen or heard of before, makes Jason feel down at Merlotte's by calling him 'girlfriend fucker'. How is that not more offensive to Hoyt? Regardless, Hoyt needs to grow up.

As does Andy Bellefleur. The Bon Temps Sheriff not only is awoken by two teenage boys, after sleeping with their mother Holly, on their couch, but then he receives a bribe from some very respectable, read cocky rich guy, to make a speeding fine disappear. I don't care, and it hasn't even turned into a storyline yet.

The same can be said for Terry's old friend Patrick, also a former U.S marine. Terry was acting all weird and is eye was twitching which was exciting, because Terry is usually extremely laid back and boring. But then there was all this talk about the past (please no flashbacks), fires (how suspicious), and something horrible that happened back in Iraq (war subplots are the worst). Don't look forward to this one.

Speaking of characters with bad subplots, Sam was also around, being kidnapped by Marcus's wolf pack and forcing him to tell them where Marcus's body is so that they can turn into wolves and eat him, naturally. Luna calls upon Alcide to help them and I guess well see where that goes but... meh.

So as usual a couple of good main storylines followed by a never-ending string of unnecessarily bad ones. And no Russell yet? Shame on you True Blood, for stringing us along.

Rating: 3/5

30 Rock Season 6 Final Recap & Review (6.22: What Will Happen to the Gang Next Year?)

Criss is desperate to be able to help out Liz financially so that they could think about 'having a plant' together, so he plans to take his hot dog van, named Van Der Beek, to an event in Queens.

At work, Hazel asks Liz if she can crash with her for a year or two now that she's moved out Rosmond's place. Liz tells her that they need to have boundaries, while Jenna taunts Hazel for her failures.

Jack asks Liz to officiate his and Avery's vow renewal, and while Liz thinks its a sign of deeper martial problem, she agrees. Avery arrives at Jack's office, with her mother Diane, much to Liz's surprise leading to a very tense and awkward situation.

Tracy is named man of the year by the Journal of the Aryan Patriot Party, and becomes concerned that he is not a good role model for African Americans.

During an interview Avery and Scott Scotsman do for NBC, Jack notices both of them tapping their fingers. He quickly returns to his office and watches tapes of the pair of them when they were forced to present the news in Korea. He discovers the pair of them used a secret code to communicate with one another, and possibly had an affair.

Kenneth goes to cry in the stairwell when he receives a letter that he hasn't been accepted back into the NBC page program, but he finds Hazel sitting there. Hazel tells him to stop complaining, because he could have no place to live like her. Kenneth then tells Hazel that she is staying with him.

When Avery returns to Jack's office he reveals he knows the code her and Scott share. She tells him her and Scott have never had a psychical relationship, unlike Jack and Diane. Jack tells Avery she was supposed to have forgiven him for that, and the pair angrily agree that that they problems but that they are going to get through them because they are Jack and Avery and they don't give up.

Jenna overhears that Kenneth and Hazel are now roommates, and Jenna warns tells to leave Kenneth out of their feud, to which Hazel replies that she's already taken care of Kenneth.

Before Jack and Avery's ceremony Liz becomes increasingly concerned about the wedding when both Diane and Scott ask Liz if she plans to say the part 'speak now or forever hold your peace', both expressing that they plan to stop the union. Liz's expresses her worries to Jack and Avery, but they are too preoccupied with not quitting that they ignore her.

Jenna reveals to Kenneth that she went down to Human Resources and discovered that Hazel sabotaged his application to reapply to the page program in order to remove him as a possible threat.

Liz overhears a news report about a bank robbery, and Criss's van is shown as the getaway vehicle. Distressed, she runs from the reception.

At the civil rights museum, Tracy is trying to find inspirational American Americans to look up to. Despite failing to do so, he states he will start his own movie studio, in which everything produced, written, directed and seen will be done so exclusively by African Americans.

Liz runs into Criss outside Rockefeller Plaza and tells him she'll go to prison for the robbery, he tells her that he sold his van that morning in order to get money to pay for their upstairs renovation, and now they both know neither is going to try and bail from the relationship.

During the ceremony Liz states 'speak now or forever hold your peace', but a drunk Diane has fallen asleep, and Scott is sitting next to his fiance before he was kidnapped in Korea, no neither of them say anything. Liz is pleased, but Jack and Avery interrupt her, saying they can't believe no one is going to stop them renewing their vows when there's so much to object to. They reveal they only got married because Avery was pregnant with Liddy, and decide that because they both hate to quit they were hoping someone else would ruin their wedding for them. They ask Liz to divorce them, and she does so.

At his apartment Kenneth confronts Hazel. She tells him it started off as sabotage, but turned into love. He asks her how he can believe her, and they start making out.

As Criss starts work on the renovation, Jack arrives at Liz's apartment with a gift for her for officiating the divorce: the remote control holder she wanted from Sky Maul. She asks for his advice on planning to have a baby with Criss, to which he replies he has no right to give her any because of the state his own life is in. She's asks for it anyway, and he tells her she'll be a good writer.

All of the storylines were strong this episode, but because they were so plot driven it left little time for funny character moments and went more for sentimentality. I liked the way Jack and Avery's relationship ended, both too stubborn to admit that it was a mistake. I'm indifferent towards Criss's character, but it's nice to see Liz happy, but it'll be interesting to see where their relationship goes from here. Ironically, it's Tracy's and Kenneth's storylines that I'm most looking forward to next season. Tracy had little to do this episode, but the announcement that he plans to make his own production company sets up a long, and likely hilarious arc for next season. The same can be said of Kenneth's unexpected relationship with Hazel. While it took me a long while to begin to like Hazel, her obsession with Liz, and now her feud with Jenna have great comedic potential. My problem with Kenneth is that he's been the same character for so long, so seeing him out of his comfort zone and in a relationship will hopefully bring out some funny moments next season.

Quote of the episode:

Hazel - ‘My living situation’s been a little in flux. Obviously I can’t go to a homeless shelter, I mean the people there can be a little too sexually conservative for my taste.’

Rating: 3.5/5

How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Final Recap & Review (7.23/7.24: The Magician's Code Part 1 & 2)

As Lily goes into labour Robin and Ted arriving, attempting to calm her down, as Ted yells don't panic. She is stressing out that Marshall is not there, and Ted and Robin both have peculiar ways in which to try and sooth Lily. Robin, offers her sugar cubes, and Ted unveils his kick-ass labour announcement video e-mail. Lily says all she needs is a distraction, and they proceed to tell her short stories of memories they've shared.

In Atlantic City, Barney and Marshall are stranded at a casino. They are unable to get a taxi to the train station because of the big event their that weekend, and the valet long is four hours long. Barney comes up with a plan to win a motorcycle and drive out of there. When the plans fails, he takes the motorcycle and just to ride out of the casino anyway before been caught by security. Left alone, a drunk Marshall has a hilarious journey trying to claim two steps and has a fight with an ATM machine. Barney returns and they find a buss heading back to New York with two spares seats. Unfortunately the bus is going to Buffalo and the driver refuses to stop unless there is an emergency.
While i was a little annoyed that Marshall got to the hospital, I loved how all the old people on the bus claimed they were having heart-attacks in order for Marshall to stop at the hospital.

Marshall arrives in time for the birth of Marvin Waitforit Erickson.

It the waiting room, the stories Ted and Robin have shared will Lily have brought them closer together than they've been in a long time and they agree to stop avoiding each other and be friends.

Was it really appropriate for Ted, Robin and Barney to make jokes about Marvin's name so soon after the birth? Yes, everything they said was true, but have some tact guys.

Ted starts getting clucky and tells Robin he wants a family, to which she candidly responds that while Ted says he's always looking for 'The One', he constantly chases women who are unable to fulfil his family dreams. Robin suggests he calls Victoria, the only woman he's dated who could have been 'The One'.

Barney returns home to Quinn, uncertain of what he will find. She's still their, although she's had his apartment redecorated. It is now pink and contains numerous large plush Hello Kitty toys and lots and lots of flowers. Barney doesn't care, and thanks god that she is still there.

Back at the apartment Ted tells the others he meet a girl on the train and he doesn't know what to text her. Lily and Marshall, now responsible for another human being, tell Ted he can't always come to them with his minute problems. Robin scolds Ted for not trying to see what Victoria is doing. Later he calls her, and she agrees to meet him at MacLarens.

Meanwhile, Barney and Quinn are off to Hawaii for their first getaway as a couple. They are stopped at security and they ask Barney to open his luggage. Inside is a mysterious box. The officers ask Barney to open it, but he says he can't because it's a magic trick and he can;t break the magicians code. Oh god... Quinn asks him why he was taking a magic trick on their romantic holiday and he tells her he was planning to shot up to Honolulu for the world wide magic convention.

At MacLarens Victoria arrives in a wedding dress. She tells him that she had previously thought about leaving her fiance Klaus for Ted, if it wasn't for Robin. Ted tells her that she has moved out and that their relationship is over. Victoria says she got a car, and is willing to drive off into the sunset with him, if he hasn't closed the door on their relationship.

Back at the airport, Barney agrees to tell the magic trick to one of the officer's because he is a magician. The officer is impressed, but when Barney magics his way out of a pair of handcuffs that have been placed on him, another officer tases him.

Ted calls Robin when Victoria goes to the bathroom, and Robin, Lily and Marshall meet him at the bar to help him decide what to do. Robin tells him to go for it, but Lily is concerned that Victoria might just be having pre-wedding jitters and will regret her decision later on. They flee when Victoria comes out of the bathroom, and Ted agrees to go with her.

In a holding room at the airport an officer comes to take Barney and Quinn's details. Quinn tells him she is unemployed, revealing to Barney that she quit her job as a stripper for him, and asks him because of what she's done for him if he could please show the officer the magic trick. He refuses.

In the car with Victoria, Ted tells her he's taking her back to her wedding. He tells her that while be would be willing to get back together, that he's been left at the altar before, and that the right thing to do is for her to go to her wedding.

The officer tells Quinn she is free to go, and she almost does, but Barney agrees to show them the trick. After a silly an elaborate performance, the trick produces an engagement ring, and Quinn agrees to marry him.

Barney and Quinn arrive at Lily and Marshall's to reveal their engagement. Robin tells Barney she's really happy for him.

Meanwhile, Ted passes by the church Victoria is meant to be having her wedding at, and they drive into the sunset.

A little while down the road, as the subtitle states, Ted as one of Barney's groomsmen, goes to meet with the bride before the wedding, Robin.


Quote of the episode:

Quinn - 'I hired a decorator and I asked him: what would the inside of Tinkerbell's vagina look like? And the kid just ran with it.'


Rating: 2.5/5

Game of Thrones Season 2 Final Recap & Review (2.10: Valar Morghulis)

At King's Landing, Tyrion awakes heavily bandaged, and Maester Pycelle informs him that he is no longer the hand of the king. Poor Tyrion, it must be so difficult for him to be a part of the family he is in. Despite this, when Shae suggests they travel to Pentos where they could be safe, an candid Tyrion tells her how he loves to thwart his family's plans. I wouldn't have it any other way Tyrion, but please be careful.

Tyrion's not the only one deserving of sympathy however. Joffrey rewards those who served him well in the battle, he makes his grandfather, Tywin Lannisater, his Hand, and gives Petyr Baelish the castle of Harrenhal for facilitating the alliance between the Houses of Lannister and Tyrell. Loras Tyrell asks Joffrey to marry his sister, Margaery, in order to solidify the relationship between the Houses. Joffrey, however, is betrothed to Sansa. Cersei convinces him that this union can be broken, however, because of the Stark's betrayal, and Joffrey then agrees to marry Margaery. Sansa is momentarily delighted that she must no longer be married to Joffrey, but Littlefinger reminds her that now Joffrey has no further plans to wed her, that she cannot go home, and she will have to remain at King's Landing under Joffrey's rule.

While last weeks enormous battle was good, this is what Game of Thrones does best. What makes the show so enjoyable is the game itself, of tactics, betrayals, alliances, and sacrifices, mostly portrayed through passive-aggressive discussions and snide comments. This is what the Game of Thrones is, and it is oh so good when done right. The King's Landing storylines are the best in the show, and with plenty of dynamic changes; Tywin as the new hand, Margaery as Joffrey's new betrothed, I very much look forward as to what will happen next.
Back at Dragonstone island (that was an unusually fast and successful retreat), Stannis confronts Melisandre about his defeat at King's Landing, when her and her Lord of Light promised him victory. She tells him it was a small loss in a much grander battle, but he proceeds to strangle her. She manages to tell him that her god is inside him, referring to the ghostly creature they created to kill Renly, and he releases her. She tells him he will be King, but still sceptical, Melisandre lures him to look deep into a fire, in which he seems to become mesmerised by visions of his future.

It would have been interesting to see what Stannis saw to convince him of his futuer success, but alas, all we get is Melisandre word. Stannis will obviously have to start another army if he's to be a contender for the thrown, but just how much help will be be receiving from Melisnadre and her mysterious and vengeful Lord of Light?

Meanwhile in the Riverlands Robb decides to break his promised vow to marry a daughter of the House Frey, by marrying Talisa, a woman he has known for five episodes, against Catelyn's wishes. I wouldn't be listening to Catelyn either, bet really Robb? Oh well, at least this sets up the possibility for another House to enter the brawl that is the Game of Thrones. I can't imagine that Walder Frey will take too lightly to Robb breaking his oath, especially after he gave them that bridge and all. At least Robb and his army now have the possibility of an enticing storyline, instead of sitting around all season.

While I very much enjoy the characters of Brienne and Jamie, their trip to King's Landing is taking an awfully long time, and there's only so much awkward banter I can take between them. Here's hoping they'll arrive at their destination soon, and that we can finally see all the Lannisters under one dysfunctional roof. And I can't wait to see what Brienne will get up to there.

At Winterfell, Theon's short rule came to an abrupt end. Surrounded by a northern army under command of Roose Bolton's bastard son; sent by Robb, Theon is left with few options. Maester Luwin suggests he joins the Night's Watch to redeem himself, but Theon realises he is too far gone, and that the only way to protect his honour is to lead the twenty men as has into battle. Theon presents a rousing speech to his men, before one of the, Dagmer, knocks him unconscious, with the intention of handing him over to the Northmen in exchange for their lives. Maester Luwin tries to intervene, and Dagmer stabs him with a spear. Later, Bran, Rickon, Osha and Hodor emerge from their hiding place in Winterfell's crypts and find the castle burnt to the ground. In the godswood they find Maester Luwin dying. He tells them that they must go north to the Wall, as there are too many enemies in the south, and that once there Jon will be able to keep them safe and tell their mother of their survival.

I loved watching Theon's disintegration this season, the lengths in which he went to please his family, and to betray the Starks, showed a truly desperate and conflicted character, and I can't imagine next season as anything too promising in store for him when he is reunited with Robb. On the other hand, it seems were are going to have another several characters travelling in Bran, Rickon, Osha and Hodor, and I can't see there journey to the Wall being at all exciting, and then once they get then and find no Jon...

Speaking of travellers, Arya, Gendry and Hot Pie are unfortunately already on their own tedious journey after escaping Harrenhal. They are surprised to meet Jaqen H'ghar who offers to take Arya with him to Braavos, where she can learn the skills of killing he has and find a way to kill those on her list. However, she refuses, wanting to be reunited with her family. Jaqen gives her a silver coin and the words "Valar Morghulis", telling her to speak them to any man from Braavos should she ever need to find him again. Jaqen bids Arya farewell and departs, changing his face to that of a different man as he leaves.

While I'm sure will be seeing the mysterious Jaqen again, it seems for now that he, and any interesting storyline for Arya, have moved on. I'm interested to see where they are headed, and can only hope they get there soon, or that something mildly interesting happens to them along the way. Perhaps the time to start up a relationship between Arya and Gendry?

Daenerys finally arrives at the House of the Undying as we all knew she would when she first meet Pyat Pree five episodes ago. Her arrival there, thankfully, provided some of her most entertaining scenes of this season, including walking through the snowy, ruined throne room of King's Landing,  and a tent with Khal Drogo, and what would have been her infant son Rhaego. Both of which where magical illusions created by Pree. When she eventually finds her dragan, Pyat Pree appears and tells her that she and her dragons are the source of their magic and that they make each other stronger. He then proceeds to chain her up alongside her dragons. Before he can complete this however Daenerys commands her dragons, and they shoot flames at Pree, who catches on fire and is burned alive. Daenerys returns to Qarth to confront Xaro, who betrayed her. She finds him asleep in bed with her Dothraki handmaiden, Doreah, who she thought killed during her dragons abduction. She takes them to Xaro's fault, which he had previously claimed had untold riches inside, but which they find empty. Daenerys then locks the pair of them in the fault, leaving them to starve to death. Jorah Mormont tells Daenerys that that could possibly salvage enough of Xaro's belongings in order to acquire a small ship.

I'm glad we can all move on now Dany, and please, please, please, no more season long journeys! For Daenerys or any of the characters. She better find a boat soon is all I can say.

Beyond the Wall, Qhorin Halfhand takes his ingenious plan to get the wildlings to trust Jon to a ridicoulous level. He grabs a swords, fights with Jon, yelling obstencities all the while, until Jon kills him. The man sure knows how to die for a cause. Impressed, the Lord of Bones cuts Jon free and Ygritte shows him their vast army, gathering in a valley below with a promise to take him to their King Beyond the Wall, Mance Rayder.

At least this season long journey looks like it's going to pay off, it's going to be really interesting to see how the wildlings live, and even more so how Jon is going to survive among them. I'm sure Ygritte will be more than willing to give him a helping hand if you know what I mean...

Back at the Fist of the First Men, Sam, Grenn and Edd hear three horn blasts; the warning call for White Walkers. They flee, but Sam is left behind, caught in a sudden blizzard. Seeing shadowy figures moving through the snow, Sam hides behind a rock and watches as undead warriors walk past him, led by a fearsome White Walker mounted on a horse. Sam cowers, but the Walker ignores him and orders its army, to advance on the Fist.

Zombies? It was cool and all, but I'm not too sure how much magic I can take from Game of Thrones, particularly when where already dealing with smoke monsters and men who can change their faces. Still, it was one hell of a foreboding way to end the season.

Rating: 3.5/5

Supernatural Season 7 Final Recap & Review (7.23: Survival of the Fittest)

I was interested to see how the conversation between Dick and Crowley would go, but it wasn't all that exciting. Naturally, Crowley accepted Dick's deal and betrayed Sam and Dean, but the scenes in which Dick and Crowley go over their contract were tedious and unfunny.

A reluctant and deadpan humorous Castiel got boring the instant it started last episode, and when always accompanied with the whining droll that is Meg... well, the pair of them are just plain annoying.

Some of the most entertaining parts of the season were the revelations of Dick's plans, and the one discovered in this episode was one of the best. The idea to use an additive to breed out undesired characteristics in humans was a good one, and one that further upped the stakes for Sam and Dean to save the world. Kevin's importance in the grand scheme of things as a Prophet is also interesting, especially since both Crowley and Dick wanted him for themselves, so that should be interesting to develop next season.

I enjoyed see Bobby as a vengeful spirit, but was disappointed that we didn't get to see more of it. The development of his change of character only really occurred in the last couple of episodes, and it was nothing all that exciting, just broken glass and such. I wish the writers would have pushed the boundaries further with him going dark, possessing more people, perhaps getting them killed, hurting Sam and Dean etc. that would have been really interesting, and we got a little bit of an insight into that in this episode, but it's looks like that's as far as it will go. That being said, I hope the writers don't bring Bobby back. Characters on shows like Supernatural constantly defy death by some magical means or loophole, but that significantly diminishes the impact the death of a character can have on audiences when one occurs. They already killed Bobby and brought him back as a ghost, to do it again would further discredit the finality of death. Plus it would make all those, Sam and Dean mourn Bobby episodes of this season completely unnecessary and irrelevant.

The episode seemed somewhat subdued and anti-climatic. Sam and Dean's retrieval of the items necessary to kill Dick, the blessed bone and Crowley's blood, was surprisingly easy, and while Dick through a spanner in the works my using the original Dick Romans arm to create two more Dick doppelgangers, Castiel would conveniently see through this disguise, not only allowing Sam and Dean's job easier, but forcing him into the action. Nonetheless, the scenes in which Sam, Dean, Meg and Castiel storm Sucrocorp were enthralling, especially the return of the Impala, and the amazing distraction it was used for. Dick was very easy to find and kill though, and Sam found Kevin easy, and no one really got hurt. As Crowley noted, which highlights why the episode could be deemed as a letdown, Dick may be dead, but now the leviathans are just another monster without their leader. The leviathan threat is still present, and at full capacity. Not only that, but with Castiel and Dean separated from Sam, and Meg and Kevin in Crowley's possession, they've been set back a long way in defeating them.

The cliffhanger ending, Dean and Castiel being transported to purgatory, was a surprising albeit slightly used one. The Winchesters have already been to heaven and hell many times, so why not purgatory too right?

It's always interesting to see a major dynamic change within a series, and this season ensured us that at the beginning of the next one, that would have well and truly occurred. But Supernatural has done this bother, and it doesn't often take long for episodes to fall back into the bland standard monster-of-week formula, so it will be interesting to see how long things will remained changed for. Plus, with the leviathans still at full force, Crowley making moves, and the Alpha Vampire still hanging around somewhere it will be interesting to see how all these villains are handled, whether there are too many or if they're possibly getting to worn for writers to handle, or whether will be getting some entirely new evil next season.

Rating 3/5